Family separations are hard, no matter if it is just a quick business trip or a military deployment. Here are some fun ideas to help kids cope with family separations. I use the same ideas in regards to extended family members that do not live close by.
Map out your trip to show where you are going or mark the map as the trip progresses. This is a great way for your kids to study geography.
Use time tools like paper chains, calendars, advent calendars, etc. to mark time during a separation. It helps kids cope with not fully being able to understand long time periods.
Treasure hunts can be very fun. Write letters or notes, possibly including a surprise with each, and hide them in your house. Each letter can have a clue on where to find the next day's letter, and state how many days are left till you return. This will give your child something fun to look forward to, and works great for a short absence where there won't be time for mail.
Love notes are always a good idea. One summer my kids and I were going to be out of town when my husband returned from an extended absence. We left messages on sticky notes all over the house for him to read when he came back. My kids love doing projects like this while their dad is gone. It makes separation lots more fun.
Bedtime is always the hardest time for my kids when one of us is away. Recording bedtime stories, loving messages, songs, etc. on a DVD, CD, or tape has really help. This is especially good for infants and toddlers who can easily develop attachment issues.
Have phone dates. Set-up frequent phone calls to be a regular part of each other’s lives. This allows children to get reassurance from the parent that is gone, that he/she will be coming back.
Keep a journal of your time apart. That way you don’t miss out on each other’s lives. Daily emails work too. I love looking back on these and laughing at the chaos.
Start a family blog. That way everyone in your family has access to all your news at the same time. Please remember to use a program that is password protected to ensure privacy for your children.
Have a family “scapegoat”. Pick an adult in your family with a good relationship to your children who is willing to support your style of parenting. That way when one of your kids gets upset and will not talk to you, they have someone to call. Your child can vent to the other adult and calm down. Then the family “scapegoat” will listen, provide reassurance, and reinforce the family rules and disciplines.
Create your own story book of favorite memories. Have your kids pick out their favorite pictures of the people that love them and write out fun memories about each one. You can buy an inexpensive photo album to store them in. These are some of my kids’ greatest treasures. They make great gifts for Grandma & Grandpa too.
My kids really love getting post cards from friends and family all over the world. My son collects them in a photo album.
Give your kids their own copies of family pictures. You can put them in an album or a picture wall in their room. This allows them to put names with faces of family members that do not live close by.
When you can finally be together again, have a family day. Do something fun as a family. Spend time together. Allow your kids to be as clingy as they need to be to feel secure. Let your kids tell you all about what happened to them while you were gone. Usually this helps the transition for everyone concerned.
